I’ll now interrupt your life with a bit of LOLable humor about Marmite

Anyone who knows a little bit about Australia and New Zealand has heard of Vegemite and Marmite. Some of you may even know the difference.

I’m one who knows there is a difference, I was just never quite sure what it was. Back when I was at camp, all the Australian and Kiwi counselors would bring one of the –mites all the way from home just so they could gross us out (that’s probably not actually the reason they brought it). The –mites are these brownish green very, very, very salty, yeasty spreads those from Down Under like to put on toast. They say it’s an acquired taste, but I beg to differ.

Anyway, they LOVE the stuff down here the way Americans love, say, bacon. Yeah, I think that’s an appropriate equivalence. And they get very defensive when you confuse the –mites. For the record, Vegemite comes from Australia and Marmite is Kiwi. There are other differences, but I couldn’t tell you what they are. Anyway, you must be very careful not to confuse the two. I accidentally called Marmite Australian tonight, and all at once, five Kiwis gasped and then got silent and then started telling me the difference all at once. Consider it analogous to the way a Red Sox fan would feel if a foreigner asked him about the Yankees.

The point of the story, though, is that after the earthquake in Christchurch last year, the marmite factory was destroyed. Therefore, it cannot continue to be manufactured. I’m pretty sure it’s a secret process, anyway. Marmite is now being sold online and in person by the gram, and for quite hefty prices. It’s probably going for more than some drugs.

It’s what the Kiwis call– get ready for this– MARMAGEDDON!!!


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